Thankfulness

I am thankful for:



1. My God -- who is eternally present for me, sufficient enough for me and my rock and Redeemer



2. My husband -- who loves me even when I'm a brat. which is often.



3. My parents -- for teaching me to be who I am. Encouraging me through my childhood and young adult life. For being a listening ear and a sounding board. For giving me advice (but not pushing their ideas and or beliefs onto me), whether I take it or not. For demonstrating unconditional love.



4. My brothers -- we may not talk everyday but I know if I ever needed anything, either one of them would be there in whatever way he could be.



5. My in-laws -- for raising up a son in a loving, Christian home and making him the man he is. For accepting me and welcoming me into the family with open arms. For encouraging me in all that I do.



6. For my siblings-in-law and their precious little boy -- for being cool and entertaining :), and also for loving and encouraging me. And for sending me pictures every once in a while of Callum, because let's face it -- he's TOO freakin' cute!



7. For my job -- it's tough and stressful and frustrating and rewarding and challenging all at the same time. I love leaving work everyday and being proud of what I've done, yet wishing I could've done more.



8. My FRIENDS!!!! There are WAY too many to name, but every single person I call a friend is truly that. I'm horrible with picking up the phone, calling to catch up, but when I do get a chance to, it's like no time has passed at all.



9. My small group Bible study (who all fit into number 8) -- we truly have an open and honest and "real" relationship where we can share just about anything. They've prayed for us, praised with us and on occasion cried with us. We're watching each other grow in a Mighty way and it's really cool.



10. Our CARES residents -- they came into my life half-way through this year and I LOVE them! I love the diversity and differing backgrounds and stories they have to share. We are truly blessed to have the opportunity to serve them and love doing just that. Does it take up a huge chunk of my "off" time? Yes. Is it worth it? TOTALLY!

11. The upcoming Christmas season -- first of all, for the reason! [see number one] But really, the decorations, music, Spirit of love and giving, cold weather (when it comes around), family time, etc. I LOOOOOVE Christmas!

12. [appropriately numbered] My Aggies -- thank you for coming out of what seemed like a bad season and beating the hell out of those Longhorns. A&M is a culture, not a school and I love that! WHOOOOOOP!

I have a reason...

I didn't participate in 30 Days of Thankfulness this year because, let's face it: last year, I failed miserably. It's not that I don't have anything to be thankful for, it's just that in everything else going on, I honestly don't remember to log on and journal these thoughts on a regular basis. Yesterday in worship, Hillsong's "Desert Song" was played/sung and it really spoke to me. I won't say anything except that the lyrics speak for themselves:

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayers in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

[Bridge]
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

Ramblings

What have I been doing lately? The usual...working (and when I say working, I don't just mean the six twelve-hour shifts every two weeks. In fact, I mean those six shifts plus committee work, writing exam/cross-exam/opening and closing arguments for the short stint as a make-believe lawyer for a conference we're holding soon, conjuring up something creative to say for a powerpoint that will be presented to our nursing leadership team, developing a talk on professionalism and accountability to present to the PICU staff...you know...working.), CARES team duties (our last event was CHOCtoberfest and was a COMPLETE success...keep reading for more details on that), not training for our half-marathon (yet not giving up just yet...keep reading for those details, too!), attending Aggie football games, having fun and well...I guess that's it.

So yes, our last CARES events were both successful. We had a breakfast early in October and probably set a new record for attendance. Brad and I have been praying that we could get different people to attend and the Lord heard us! I mean, we LOVE our regulars and wouldn't want them to stop coming for anything, but we were trying to think of ways to get different people to start coming. Out of the 60+ residents that came, probably half of those were brand new faces for us! This last week, we held CHOCtoberfest in honor of Halloween. We didn't want to have a Halloween party, per se, so we served all things chocolate and stole the creative name from some dear friends (and another CARES team) of ours. I made much of the treats, but then also let some local eateries and chocolate stores do some of the work for me :) Again, we had a big crowd (40 or so), especially for a week night and pretty much ran out within about 45 minutes. [Note to self: these people love chocolate!]

Brad and I decided about a month and a half ago to conquer the White Rock Half Marathon again. Of course, with our schedule as loaded as it is, training has been difficult. According to the schedule we're using, we should be running 11 miles this weekend...I've only gotten up to 4. Oops. We're not giving up. In fact, we're re-writing the schedule ourselves and are going to hit the ground running (literally) to prepare ourselves for the race, which is just 4.5 weeks away! Speaking of hitting the ground running...I did just that last night during our jog. See? Isn't it pretty?

See the goose egg? Well, more like a small bird's egg...

I'd turned around to Brad to tell him how good I was feeling and the next thing I knew, BAM!!! Face, meet concrete. Concrete, meet face. I tried to catch myself with my hand (as it's torn up pretty bad) but my chin and cheekbone took the brunt of the hit. Naturally, we were on the feeder road of the Beltway during rush-hour traffic so I'm sure I was the source of laughter for some commuters during their drive home. I sat there for a minute processing what had just happened, got up, walked about 20 yards then finished the run. I have to admit, I'm a little proud of myself. Brad thought I should turn around, go home and perhaps visit the Doc in the Box (urgent care clinic) to get checked out. Eh, I'm a nurse. I'm good. Let's finish up this run. The adrenaline help me out, I must say. All without ONE tear shed! Woke up this morning with a splitting headache and a [more] swollen eye. Trying to decide if that trip to the clinic is worth it. Kind of want to check out my cheekbone, but don't necessarily want to pay a bunch of money for x-rays that will 1) show nothing or, 2) show fractures, for which nothing can be done. Think I'll apply ice, take some ibuprofen and suck it up.


It's been a busy semester and the season is FLYING by! I can't believe Thanksgiving is just 3 weeks away. I need to drag out my fall decorations and get them up before it's Christmas :) I love the Holidays...especially this cooler weather we're experiencing. I think I was meant to live in a colder climate, because I eat. This. Up.


Until next time...I'll try to stay away from Mr. Concrete as much as possible!

PRIDE!!!

My dad has been waiting 15 years for this. Me? Well, pretty much my whole life because I can't really remember the last time I was this excited about postseason baseball. It's easy for people to be fans of teams that win (Yankees, Longhorns, etc.). It takes a really special FAN (a true fan) to cheer on and stand behind a team during the good and bad seasons (i.e. Rangers, Cowboys, ahem, Aggies). Apparently, I'm bad luck for all three. But this year, Rangers, you've really made me proud! I know you don't know me from Even, but keep it up...hand it to those obnoxious Yankees and let's see you in the Series!!!

On Growing Up

I'm not really sure when I turned from bratty little pre-teen to fairly-responsible high school girl. And I don't know when that girl turned into a young woman or when that young woman turned into an old woman. :) The transformation feels like it happened overnight, although I know it's been years in the making. I've always been told that I'm "more mature than others" my age, and I assume those people are telling me the truth and not hiding some flaw of mine.

Anywho, I recently discovered that I've really become a grown-up. Doing things like getting up early every day (except for the three or four days a month when I sleep til 10 or so) to fit things into the hours I have available to me. And drinking coffee every morning to get moving along. Things like a real job, an apartment, finances and menu-making. Stuff along the lines of careerr building, networking, friend-making and furniture-shopping. Some may say that I'm involved in too much, but let's face it...now is the time, right? No kids = extra time on my hands. I never thought I would enjoy being an adult -- except when I was in high school and had tons of homework that crowded my weekend fun. But I do. It's entertaining. It's enlightening. It's fulfilling. But man, is it hard work!

Well, Well, Well...Who do we have here?

Yes, it's been nearly two whole months since I've updated. That right there should give you a small insight to how busy I've been. Work. Football. CARES. Life. Work. CARES. Life. Play. And if you look at Brad's life, add a few "Schools" in there and it's every crazier. However, I don't really think we'd change a thing right now. Except maybe school! So here's a run-down of things...

August looked a bit like this:

CARES Visits. Work. CARES Event. Work. Bible Study. Eye appointment (got new glasses!). Houston Restaurant Week. Work Committee Meetings. CARES Visits. CARES Event. Trip to see the in-laws! CARES Event and Visits. Bible Study. Girls' Date with Leah. Week off so I could adjust to turning 27 years old. Dentist appointment with the best dentist in the world (yes, she reads this blog -- but it's still the truth!).

September thus far:

Work committee meeting. AGGIE FOOTBALL (win)! CARES visits and event. Work. Bible study. AGGIE Football (win #2)! Work. CARES event. Girls trip to Nashville to see one of my best friends since first grade, the lovely AND talented, Mrs. Miranda McKay Telford!!! AGGIE football (win! -- while I was away). Work. Workshop for work. Which leads us to today.

I know you wanted to see my calendar condensed into a blog post, right? Probably not. So let's give you some details and pictures :)

Work. I'm a Pediatric ICU nurse (for those of you just joining me...or that don't know me at all). I work at least three 12-hour shifts each week. But not only do I work at the bedside, I also don't know how to tell people "no" when they suggest I should be on committees. I feel like I can make a difference in our practice and in the care we give our patients so not only do I say "yes" to joining, but I also say "yes" to being the chair. Which brings me to lots of work. At work. And at home. Proposals, newsletters, agendas, minutes, email blasts, meetings with nurse executives. I complain a lot about the extra work, but I honestly LOVE every minute of it. I DO feel like our group is making a difference and I know it will make our hospital a better place for not only patients, but employees as well.

CARES. Where do I even start? I marvel in the fact everyday when I wake up from my "princess and the pea" bed* that God has given Brad and me the opportunity to be a CARES team. In the short two months we've been here doing visits and events, we've met some incredible people -- both Believers and non-Believers. We have had some crucial conversations and started some great relationships with our residents and office staff. (Which, by the way, we got a new manager about half-way through August and have learned that he and his family attend church. PRAISE GOD!) While doing all of this relationship-building, we have had a LOT of fun with our events -- breakfasts, ice cream parties, tailgating parties, labor day pool and pizza party, and a coffeehouse night where I used NINE sticks of butter to make all homemade desserts for everyone -- NINE!!!! It was all worth it. We actually have an event tomorrow so please be praying for us as we serve our community and seek out ways to pray for and help those that live around us.

LIFE. I'm super busy. Brad is super, SUPER busy. On top of work and CARES, he's going back to school at U of H and figuring out the magic formula of splitting up his time between four entities. The fall is always a little harder for us because we're such die-hard Aggie football fans and try not to miss any home games. When you had seven weekends of travel into the mix of everyday life, you get one busy agenda! Which is why this weekend, we decided to forego a retreat and just rest. Get some sleep. Take care of some things around the house. Spend time together...talking, sleeping, shopping, sleeping, eating, sleeping and going to church tomorrow.

I'll try my best not to wait so long to update next time. But honestly...I make no promises :) I WILL, however, leave you with some pictures of our lives the last two months...

Some of residents at the tailgating event in our Club Room

This, folks, is a little slice of heaven on earth :) Also known as Kyle Field -- home of Aggie football

Leah, Meg, Kim, Sarah

Where it all began.....

of late...

Clearly, I've fallen off the face of bloggersworld and into some sort of black hole in an unwelcomed disappearing act. To say the least, Brad and I have been busy. Before leaving to go on Beach Retreat with the high schoolers, we visited an event put on by a CARES team* that is in our Sunday school class. We'd discussed being a CARES team soon after we married, but were unable to commit to the two-year agreement due to the unknown location of Brad's future school. We talked with the Nicolis, met some of the residents and really saw what an event offered. We prayed, we thought, we questioned, we applied. Within a month (and two days), we interviewed with Apartment Life, talked with a property's manager, were offered a position and moved into our new home! To call it a whirlwind would be an understatement. We've been trained, had our first set of visits last Sunday and will be holding our very first event tomorrow! I can already feel God moving in our marriage, growing us together in faith and using us for His glory. For the next 24 months, we'll plan and host >70 events, make >100 visits and connect with hundreds of people. It seems crazy, but we're ready to take it on!

*A CARES team is a couple (married or same-sex unmarried) that provides social events, educational seminars and weekly visits to apartment residents as a retention service to the apartment community and also as an opportunity to share the Gospel and help residents find a place to worship.

In other news, my parents came for a visit last week/weekend and we had a blast! Mom and I went to see "Wicked" at Broadway in Houston. The cast was unbelievable and we really enjoyed the story. Brad and I saw it in NYC on our honeymoon, but to be completely honest, it felt like I was seeing some of it for the first time. Scenes came up and I thought to myself, "Was I really in NYC watching this same show? I don't remember this." Perhaps it was post-wedding bliss and my mind was elsewhere. Either way, it was fantastic!!! We spent the next few days shopping until Dad arrived and we traveled down to Galveston to the Lone Star Flight Museum.

We'd been before with Brad's parents, but because of Ike, over half of the museum was still in shambles. Their entire Hall of Fame exhibit was closed and many of the planes have yet to be rebuilt. All was not lost, however, because after a conversation with my uncle, Mom was able to see two planes that her dad flew in WWII.

That afternoon, Matt joined us and we enjoyed an Astros game at Minute Maid. It was no Texas Rangers game, but we had great seats and baseball as a family is always a good time :) To bad they lost 6-0 :(

Thanks for coming to visit us, Mom and Dad! Let's not make it 15 months next time, okay?

BRX

I just thought I was going to finish up my France posts before I left for Beach Retreat, but here I sit in Gulf Shores, Alabama in a condo on the beach with my pictures all on a computer in Houston. So...

...I now interrupt your regularly-scheduled program to bring you this:

LESSONS LEARNED FROM BEACH RETREAT v2010

1. Times change, but high school drama never does

2. High school students still need someone to remind them to take their medications. In fact, most of them don't even know what they take at what time.

3. Belly flops are back in style. In a big way.

4. So are 80s clothes. I mean, really, if I had to live in this day and age, I just wouldn't be cool because hot orange leggings underneath hot pink mini skirts just aren't for me.

5. Nurses are really just moms with medicine.

6. A favorite question: "So are y'all, like, real nurses?" "Um, yes sweetie. Like, real-life, paid-to-do-it nurses."

7. Girls still chase after boys like they did 12 years ago.

8. Boys still run from girls like they did 12 years ago.

9. High school counselors/leaders have a special place in Heaven just for them. A place with lots of loud music and really energetic people.

10. God is still moving, even in this generation that is so broken and void and they still yearn for Him to fill their hearts with His love.

I love coming to Beach Retreat because not only do I get to use my God-given talent serving young people looking for Him, but I also am touched by the songs, videos, dancing and skits in worship and through the Word that He speaks through the speakers just as much as they are. My heart aches for these young people -- they are hurting; they are suffering; they are lost in a world that distorts the Truth into something that can never fill the black hole of nothingness in their hearts. They are exposed to lies, deception, hatred, scandalous teachings that are transformed and transfigured into something that is pleasing to the ears and eyes. They come because friends ask or because parents force them to and they walk away with questions that have been answered, with a new challenge and perception on life and love. Some will make it to the school year with a burning desire to know God. Some won't. Some will fall right back into the trap that the devil himself has set up for them at home -- families that don't believe; friends that criticize. God, protect their hearts, their eyes, their ears. Consume them with your Holy Spirit and wrap your arms around them. Embrace them with your love and give them the strength and courage and commitment to continue to walk with you. Plant a seed in their hearts that will grow and reap your mercies stowed away just for them.

Timing.

11 minutes for pasta.


3 minutes, plus one more after stirring, for most frozen dinners.


22.5 from front door to time clock at work.


It's all in the timing. Leaving to arrive on time. Setting the alarm to get ready in time.


Turns out, God's timing is best.


Brad got into U of H. Not A&M. He was upset. So am I. In fact, I might have cried a little in the comfort of my own little car. I was secretly hoping for a small change of pace that exists nowhere in Houston. But God has different plans.


He has plans for a Bachelor's degree for Brad as a Cougar. Apparently, He has plans for me at Children's Memorial Hermann for the next few years. And He has plans for us in a wonderful small group at church. I know there is ALWAYS a rhyme to His reason and I know it will show its face in time. Time that seems to speed by when you're not expecting and slow down when you wish it wouldn't. Time that was created and is controlled by none other than Him.

FRANCE: Day 1

I'm finally sitting down to finish the posts I started while we were in France. Sit back, grab a glass of wine and enjoy :) because we're going to FRANCE!

DAY 1 -- Monday -- BAYEUX

We arrived to Charles de Gaulle around 0930 Monday morning (0230 CST) and [thankfully] found our luggage. After brushing my teeth in the bathroom sink, we finally found the rental car desk and waited for AN HOUR to get the car. Mind you, there were only four people in front of Brad while we waited -- why it took an hour, I'll never know, but we began to see the French culture right before our very eyes. We hopped in and Brad braved driving in the city with very little sleep to get us to Bayeux. Honestly, it wasn't that terrible -- the worst part was deciphering the signs into English and figuring out what their street signs mean.

We stopped along the way for lunch and ended up at KFC. Try ordering two chicken strips, corn on the cob and a small drink in French. Because it was a small town, the cashier didn't know much English. I ended up with an extra strip, which I guess isn't bad for the language barrier that was in play.

We arrived in Bayeux around 3pm, found our hotel, checked in, dropped off our stuff and immediately started roaming the town. We were working on about 3 hours of collective sleep in about 24 hours and were EXHAUSTED, but the only way to beat jet lag is to push through the tired times. So we found the Tapisserie de Bayeux (Bayeux Tapestry) that depicts the Norman invasion on England. 75 meters of hand-stitched war scenes with intricate details...amazing. They didn't allow pictures inside, so go hereto get an idea of what I'm talking about.

(street shot in Bayeux)

(Where the Tapestry is held)

We wandered around and found the Cathedrale Notre-Dame de Bayeux. I know Europe has about a million cathedrals, but I'm learning that you have to go inside as many as you can because they're all so different. Aside from the massive pipe organ and bright stained glass, the coolest thing about this one was the tree planted out back in 1797. 213 years old and still going strong!

(Cathedrale Notre Dame - Bayeux)

(213-year old tree)

We walked around a bit more and decided to eat dinner then turn in early.

False Advertisement

I woke up extra-early this morning to work out. We have a full day ahead of us -- Bible study at 9:30, last-minute errand or two (which I haven't told Brad about yet), airport, then an international flight across the Atlantic Ocean to Paris. And I still got up at 6 am to go to the gym. Pulled up and thought to myself, "Wow. This is going to be AWESOME! I'm the only one here. Ha! Those fitness enthusiasts that I see all the time here can't even get up early on the weekend to work out, and I'm here!" Meanwhile, I grab my water, towel, iPhone, headphones and member card. I get out of the car and walk up to the door. "Man, it's dark in there. No. Noo. NO!!!" It seems that 24 Hour Fitness isn't really open 24 hours a day. I mean, it is Monday through Friday, but most definitely not on Saturday and Sunday. Nope, only 7a - 8p. So I scrunched up my face, turned myself around, got back in my car at 6:15 and came back home. Shame on you, 24 Hour Fitness. You should rename yourself 24/5 Fitness.

i am alive!

although you wouldn't be able to tell from this pitiful excuse for a blog!


i could give you all reason after reason after excuse about why i've been away for so long, but none of that really matters, now does it? what matters is that i'm here, blogging. for all five of you to read with joy :)

MckMama does entries every once in a while that are entitled "Stream of Consciousness" and i feel that in order to give you an inkling as to why i haven't blogged in a while, i'll copy her and give it a try. Here goes...

_________________________________________________________________

Work has been busy, but not necessarily because we've had a lot of patients, but because I've gotten myself into things simply by not being able to verbalize the word, "NO." I mean, I'm glad that I'm busy because if I sat at home more than I do now, I'd probably be bored out of my mind and that typically results in spending money and I really can't go and do a thing like that. It's always weird for me to say that I'd like more patients in the unit where I work because it's an ICU for kids. It's not like I want them to be sick, it's just that if they're sick enough to be in the ICU, I hope they come to our ICU. Yes, that's better.

Brad's work has not been so busy. Although, you wouldn't be able to tell because he goes in early and comes home about the same time as if he were busy. I guess he's just hoping people's trucks break down. Because it sounds better for him to say that than for me to say, "I hope people's kids get sick." He's still pushing through school. One music assignment and calculus test at a time. And I'm trying to learn to be patient with hearing where he'll be enrolled next fall. But waaaay down deep inside, there's a voice screaming at the top of its lungs, AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! Just tell me already! :) No really, we talk about it at least three times a week -- as if we hadn't talked about it three times the week before. Dallas? Maybe. I mean, he's already been accepted to UNT (YAY Sara and Jeff and Callum!), but it's his third choice. So if it's the only choice, YAY! He's going. But really, we're holding out for either A&M or U of H. And if it IS A&M, then that means a move for us. And let me tell you how excited my manager is about that one. Sometimes it's nice to be wanted. Same goes for our small group at church. I think secretly deep down, when we ask them to pray that God put us where we're supposed to be, they're actually saying, "Please God, let it be here in Houston." And that's okay, because we like them, too! There are just so many "ifs" right now and not being able to plan my life four months in advance is sooo not like me!

But planning my life three weeks in advance is something different, because we're going to PARIS!!! France, not Texas (because one husband of said small group actually said, "Wow, ten days is Paris...is there really that much to do in a small Texas town?" Ahh, Patrick). So we are planning our trip -- more what to wear and what we need than where we'll be going to see whatever it is we'll be seing. I'm excited. Acutally, I'm ecstatic!!! I just have so much to do between now and then for work and my best friend's wedding that I can't get to that point yet. I did, however, buy new shoes that will hopefully be good for walking 8+ hours a day around the city of love. And a couple of dresses. Because, you understand, nothing I have is Paris-worthy...that calls for a new wardrobe. (I kid, I kid.)

Speaking of kids, let me tell you about my dad's lastest joke...well, not really my dad...just follow me here. So my parents recently built a house out in the boondocks of Marshall (didn't know the boondocks could have its own boondocks, did ya?). And Dad's been talking about getting some animals of sorts to actually make it a 'farm'. Well, he had a horse a few years back but sold it when they sold the trailer. So now he's talking goats. Yes, goats. And for some reason, when I think goats, I think trash. And well, my parents aren't trashy people! So I advised my dad with all the wisdom I hold, that he should not buy goats because if he'd had them when I still had people to bring home with me (besides my husband), I wouldn't come home. Because they'd think we were trashy people. So I get an email from Facebook that our home church's music director has left a comment on my wall that reads -- "Your daddy just brought the cutest little "kids" by to show us...said they'll be better than a bush hog!" Kids? Hmm...maybe he and mom got a dog like they talked about! Cool, wonder what it is. Oh wait, bush hog? Huh? Kid? Bush Hog? GOATS?!? Well, I declare...in the middle of the outlet mall plaza with best friend Leah in tow, I make a ridiculous noise (kind of like a shriek, but really a laugh) and profess, "GOATS?!?!?" I immediately pick up the phone and call my dad and pretty enthusiastically begin questioning, "Why on earth would you wants goats?!? They're for trashy people and you are NOT trashy people! Why couldn't you get the dog at the pound you wanted instead? They can actually come inside and they don't eat trash and..." Then I realize he's laughing hysterically and trying to tell me there are no goats...yet. But if they did buy goats, it'd be a great tax deduction because then they'll actually be a 'farm'. "So there are no goats, Dad?" No, no goats. Hmph. Fell that for that one...

A Heavy Heart

This weekend has been eye-opening for me. While we mixed in a few fun things to do, each and every day brought on more news of despair.

Friday evening, we took dinner to a couple in our Bible study that just had a baby. In almost all other situations, that's a happy occasion -- please follow me here. I'm not saying it's not a happy occasion for them, because I know how truly grateful they are to have conceived and carried through term in the first place. It's just that their daughter was diagnosed after birth with Trisomy 21 -- Down's Syndrome in layman's terms. I have a special place in my heart for Down's kids because all of my few experiences with them have been positive. They are the sweetest, kindest, most caring people that have a heart of gold (although often "broken" with congenital anomalies). This couple will, no doubt, be using every ounce of their energy raising a special needs child for the rest of their lives, but let me tell you. If any couple can do it, it's them. We often ask, "Why, God? Why did this happen to such a great couple?" I think if we could audibly hear Him, He'd respond with, "Because who better than they?"

On the ride home from their home, I received a text from a coworker about one of our very special former patient's passing. I held back the tears. This 2 1/2 year old came to our hospital at one week (or younger) of age in what seemed to be a state of septic shock (in which the body is overwhelmed with infection). I had the privilege of taking over her admission after she'd been there for a mere 3 hours. Let me tell you...she kicked. My. Butt. The next twelve hours that unfolded would define the rest of her life. She ended up on multiple vasoactive drips (to help regulate her blood pressure and in short, keep her alive). She had an ECHO (ultrasound of her heart) that showed a very serious and rare combination of several heart defects. She ended up with a chromosomal abnormality that would determine the medications she took for the rest of her short life. But she fought. She fought through multiple hospitalizations and surgeries. She ended up with a feeding tube because doctors didn't believe she could eat by mouth. She did. She was on ECMO twice in her life because doctors didn't believe she would survive without it. She did. She was actually flown to Dallas to be worked up for a heart transplant because doctors didn't believe she would make it through that specific hospital stay with out it. She did. She was a fighter. She was last admitted due to an infection in her lungs that almost killed her --actually it did twice, as she "coded" and had to be revived multiple times. We kidded that she had nine lives. But we just knew we would watch her walk across an elementary school stage at her kindergarten graduation. She passed away Friday night. I'm not sure of the details but I do know that her memory -- her legacy -- will live on in the PICU nurses and physicians that were honored to take care of her. Her family was there every. Single. Day. That doesn't always happen where I work. Not everybody can get away from their lives to see their kids on their umpteenth admission because of work and other constraints. They did. They made time. They loved her like nobody's business. And so did we. Have fun in Heaven with Addi, sweet girl. Wear those angel wings proudly and dance all day long like you did for us in the unit!

I learned of a few other things this weekend that struck my heart -- another death of a former PICU patient and the divorce of a great Christian couple after adultery found its way into their marriage. I have never in my life felt so compelled to live for what God has intended of me. In fact, that very topic was the basis of our Bible study today (see how He works?). I may not be the most talented person on this earth, but I know he's given me the gift of caring and gifting and loving on sick people and that's exactly what I intend to do. That and love my husband :)

ID, please

You're at the movie theater, going to see a rated R (for violence, of course) movie and they want to ensure you're actually over the age or 17. They ask for I.D. You give them your driver's license. The same goes for buying cigarettes (which I've never done) and wine. It happens when you're getting through security at the airport and when you write a check. And what tells the cashier or security guard that you are who you claim to be? A plastic card with your name, address, date of birth and picture on it. That's it. That's how they identify you.

But what REALLY identifies who you are? Your hair color? The clothes you wear? The things that make you tick? What about the words you use when things are rough? Or the way you react to someone who's really just chapped your hide? Is it the amount of letters that you have behind your name? Is it the size of shoes you wear? Or the house you live in? Or the size of the diamond on your left ring finger? Or the fact that you even have a diamond on your left ring finger?

I would hope that I'd be identified to anyone who doesn't know me solely by the things listed above. Because, sure, those things are part of who you are. The clothes I choose to wear is part of my personality. My shoe size is the same as thousands of other people and is just one small feature of the physical body God made for me. The diamond on my left ring finger was chosen by my husband and most definitely defines the part of me that tells the world, "I'm taken and I'm committed to that." But those things aren't all of who I am.

I am, in short, a daughter of the King. He directs my path and I may choose to follow or not to follow. While I wonder where I'll be in five years, He's already got it all lined up. He is the ultimate event planner -- my dream job in my second life! He's got the perfect house picked out, with just the right number of kids already a-brewin' in my womb. He has the perfect jobs lined up for Brad and for me. He is the reason I get up every morning, because without him, I would not have air to breathe.

My prayer is that my life is a living testimony of my relationship with Him. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Do I let a not-so-nice word or two slip every once in a while? Of course. Do I get caught up in the negativity and gossip-filled atmosphere at work? Occasionally. Do I strive to be better about not doing so? You bet! Can I do it on my own? Psshh, never!

He has given me parents that chose to raise me in His Church. They weren't always perfect, but they were perfect for me. I have an awesome husband that loves me despite my faults and because of my strengths. He's blessed me with friends -- some that I met when I was five; others that I met two years, or even six months ago -- that have consoled, rejoiced and supported me in everything I've ever done. These people have helped mold and shape me throughout the years and will continue doing so. I am extremely wealthy in that regard. I am a daughter of the King. And that's what defines who I am. That is my true identity.